friendship problem.

somehow i feel that my lonely status is hard to change during these time and more of less my life is stuck like this.

Sounds pathetic. Ya, in my heart i feel that.

I need to accept that. And find peace in my heart.

I feel good when i know that babe is going to be here 3 months from now. 90 days is short, right? I feel good that i have accompaniment after all.

Recently i feel urge to buy something. What i want is happiness, i know that. I must understand that the happiness of getting something new is transient and shallow. It will go away quite soon.

My life is not balanced. I think my first important problem is friendship. I don't have fun in my life.

Money is second, but not so important actually.

Why i don't have friend?

1. i have low self-esteem. I am a little bit sociaphobia. Therefore i have turned off some invitation to meet new people. And i also not proactive. I don't contact friend in first place. I was always waiting.